There are men outside my apartment.

They speak with a distinctly eastern European accent.

Polish? Ukrainian? We have an incredible amount around here. Did you know Chicago has the second-largest population of Poles outside of Warsaw?

We also have a Ukranian village. I bet that place was jumping this week. Maybe I can get one of those awesome orange scarves up there.

Maybe the guys are Russian. Maybe it's the mob. Maybe they finally discovered my terrible secrets.

No, that's not it.

They're building a staircase. They come about once a week to build these things. Once they're done I can hook my dish up correctly again and watch some proper TV. Right now Comedy Central don't come in so good, and that means no Daily Show.

I'm off to get a Christmas tree. Enjoy your Saturday.