Had someone try and fix me up again today. It's happening a lot lately. Fellow coworkers have a friend, or a daughter, or another teacher they know that I would just be perfect for.

I dated plenty of teachers before, I don't know if I want to keep doing that.

Lots of fish out in that female sea for me. Lots of poor excuses on my part why I don't date any of them.

It's really because I don't want to inflict the horror of dating me upon them.

It's great for about two months, then welcome to the Fear of Commitment Zone.

I can't do that to them.

But it's getting pretty boring around here in my little island. Maybe I'm all over that. Didn't I have my grand epiphany earlier this summer?

There's Daughter of Co-Worker who's really sweet. There's Friend of Fo-Worker who is cute and has the same taste as me (due to a lunch conversation about David Sedaris today.) I have never met either of them so it's all spin right now.

There's Cute Republican Girl who I work with. Cute Pixie-Blond Girl I work with. But they both have boyfriends. It wouldn't be the first time I busted up a relationship.

Aside from girls I work with, there's X and Y and even Z. I'll never forget about Z. Long ago loves that have faded away somewhere with husbands and kids and who knows what else. (No sense bringing old names into this. Use your imagination.)

I could just develop crushes on female bloggers. Wait, I did that already. And I got a feeling I wouldn't last long with her.

I'm not depressed about any of this. Hey, who can get sad about actual females wanting to actually date me? It's all just a bit bizarre and hard to figure out.

So under my newly-decorated tree this year I hope to find the answer to this ever-plaguing question:

Who's gonna be the girl that'll finally get Big Bri to settle down?

For you newer readers out there, the "epiphany" link takes you to a long piece I wrote this summer. Stroke my ego a bit and give it a read. I'm quite proud of it.