This story involves a large glass mug and heavy drinking. I'll let you figure out what happens next.
Roommate was heading across the street (more or less) to this huge-ass bar that occupies an abandoned movie theatre. Everything about the place is oversized, from the long, mead hall-like tables to the big-screen TVs along the wall, and of course, there's the mugs. If you buy one of their Big-Ass Mugs (what is it--30 oz. or so?) you can bring it back and get nightly drink specials for a reduced rate.
I more or less hate the place, partly due to its hugeness, and mostly because it's loud and obnoxious and antithetical to everything a decent bar or pub or tavern should be. But people from work like going there and it's across the street, so there it is. One of those places you grudgingly accept.
Anyway, back to roommate. Or Cori, I should say. Cori headed out the door to meet some friends and have a few, and I told her to take my mug with, so she also could take advantage of the wonderful Mug Club opportunities The Foundry offers to its most exclusive patrons.
While she did that I stayed in and added a bunch of stuff to the LTC website, eventually crashing on the couch watching one of the greatest movies ever made. About midway through the film (around the time Tim Matheson gets the supremely-hot Nancy Allen in the Zero*) I hear someone fumbling with the door and in walks Cori with her two pals.
She has her hand over her mouth, and is spouting something about "You'll never guess...you'll never guess what I did." I imagine some sort of strange newly-acquired lip tattoo has become the highlight of her night, but sadly it's not that. She moves her hand away, and I have to squint to see what the hell she's talking about. She's also shaking her fist at me by this point, and I slowly realize what has happened.
She has chipped her front tooth on the Big-Ass Mug.
It's a decent-sized chip, and it'll require some sort of repair work. A little corner of her top front tooth gone forever.
Somehow I am to blame for all of this, simply because I was kind enough to lend her the Big-Ass Mug. But maybe she wasn't ready for it. The Big-Ass Mug does not suffer fools gladly. Not that Cori's a fool, but she was definitely out of her league tonight.
The Big-Ass Mug takes no prisoners.
*Wait--it wasn't a Zero. That doesn't make sense. What the hell was he flying?
